yi le wore my quiksilver shirt today. looks good on him. am happy. he said thanks and he likes it. gave him a massage and he gave me one. i was sweaty and unglam, but heck. was fun. had dinner with him and the girls.
know a few more of the older peeps now (well not really, just know 'em mutually), after our combined thingy tonight. had a fun time, at least wasnt embarrassing or something. played games, VERY sweaty but cant bath till tmr morning as its too late already. sigh.
came home actually quite alright, then got into an argument with mother, father also yelled at me for shouting. what a bullshit argument, its not my fault that i didnt see my mother waiting at the bus stop for me. she was at a different bus stop, how was i supposed to have seen her unless i walked over to look, and why wld i walk over to that bus stop for no reason since i didnt know she was coming down to wait for me. and what the heck, church ended an hour later than given time, i reached home slightly before 1130pm and that was already the best i could do, father still say like its my fault that i purposely stayed out late or something. kao. there are gonna be many more times in the future i will be coming home late and then whats he going to do, cage me up? sometimes i cant help being late, like church things and school (poly) things right.
tomorrow am going to go with tiffany and yixin to the children's worship, watch them lead, will join them in the future. my next step to serving in church. am hopeful it will work out, maybe also change my perspective on kids whom i dislike.
bank account, to my absolute horror, has dwindled to almost nothing left. used to have over a thousand bucks including my salary but now left a tiny fraction. honestly did not know i spent that much. have to stop it already. cant seem to stop though. dammit. freakin pissed with myself because i hate to lose control of my money, hate to see my bank book and this stupid miserable amount left and know that its all my fault that i spent all my hard-earned money plus savings. am miserable.
starting to hate someone. i dont know, maybe its not how i think it is, but i feel he is deliberately trying to get on my nerves by sending me subtle messages. please, i dont need or fancy your games. save your energy, the things you do dont mean anything to me.
got to go. am tired. am mad at parents too. mother came out just now abt 10mins ago and nagged me for not sleeping and still being awake at 2am. why cant they just leave me alone and let me rot if i wanted to. man.
starting to hate someone. i dont know, maybe its not how i think it is, but i feel he is deliberately trying to get on my nerves by sending me subtle messages. please, i dont need or fancy your games. save your energy, the things you do dont mean anything to me.
got to go. am tired. am mad at parents too. mother came out just now abt 10mins ago and nagged me for not sleeping and still being awake at 2am. why cant they just leave me alone and let me rot if i wanted to. man.
