Hmmm…
Very tired today. Coz got a cold somehow. Maybe yesterday gabe pass to me sia. Oh well. Haha. But im tired lah really.
Tennis today, laugh a lot coz mabel damn lame… think teacher give up on me… he didn’t even bother to send me off the court again like last week. Actually today thinking about it I felt like ponning tennis, somemore I am not feeling well liao, but in the end just went for it… sigh. So sad. I wanted to be the tennis teacher’s pet lor. But since I suck at it and he’s not impressed, then cannot lor. Too bad.
Am typing this in Word first, since cannot access internet. Heard that singnet users all got connection problem or something, lag so much until cannot connect. Cant even display the np page which I set as home page… msn cant sign in…. everything cannot use. So only can use Word to blog. Haiz. Need to go online urgently actually, need to get script from Melvin or someone, and need to research for debate and need to get the sab thing from Stephanie. In the end it looks like im gonna be the one doing the whole sab shit. Haiz. What to do. By tmr if it doesn’t get back to normal I will have to go cyber café to use internet liao. Hope they don’t have the same freaking problem there.
Haiz today feel quite sad. Dunno leh. Sometimes I think I am sad when I see a guy like another girl a lot. I think im sad coz I wish that girl was me. Its quite stupid, I know. But it just makes me kinda feel lousy about being me, like, why is it that some people have all the luck, not only do things go right for them, but guys also like them more, or they have more friends, sometimes they don’t even want guys to like them, or they don’t even want more friends, but they just have them. I want also don’t have. So sometimes I get pissed at them too, coz its like they don’t even appreciate the things they have, the friends, the guys, the good grades, the money, whatever. Sigh. Why cant life be fairer.
Yeah. So I guess it makes me sad to see terence. Just now I was like playing with him, then he said eh don’t like that later she (wendy) see. Then I was like, fine sia… wah lau. Then I walk away, then he say eh don’t like that lah then I ran far away up front. Its just that I feel like, im trying to be
Then sometimes I see my other friends, like maybe guohao, and someone else I cannot mention to protect identity, and some other people, they also found people to like and everything… and sometimes I wonder, am I going to just be everyone’s Friend, and remain there, just a Friend and nothing more, no matter how much I care or even if I liked someone, will I forever be the one that they don’t think of, the one who has to hide her feelings so they can be happy, so they can go and like someone else… how come they never know? How come they cant like me first. And how come I always like the wrong people, always the ones who will either never like me back, or already like someone else, or something?
Haiz. Whats the whole point of saying all these. Not like by saying it the people I refer to will like, do anything about it. What sux is I cant even say who the hell they are, and even if I did, doesn’t mean anything good will come out of it. Only means that I’ll prob lose their friendship, or everything will just be damn awkward. I will never be telling any guy how I feel about him anymore. For me I just never get positive responses from these people. It sux big time and I have had enough of it… being not good enough, or not the person that they like, or all that shit.
Sigh my cold seems to be getting worse.
I like having the house to myself. I can do anything I like. I wish my parents will come home late. Just feel like having some peace and quiet and freedom for once.
Tomorrow if I get better, I may bring my work out to do. Just don’t like to stay home, coz dad is around everyday. Its boring. Its not like im doing something bad here, but I just like to be alone at home, or else simply away from my parents. Don’t know why. Just don’t like the fact that when they’re around they still more or less can control what I do and stuff. So I’d rather bring my lappie outside and do sia. Sigh. Tmr gonna have to chiong a lot of things. Debate. Locvdp storyboard if there’s any way Melvin or someone is going to pass to me the edited script. Print gracom? And what else… sab can put on hold since its only due abt 2 weeks later… next week gonna be more busy tho it’s a week’s break… break like no break. Gonna be filming and editing locvdp, then… gotta study for medisoc common test (big thing man…) which is the week after, then Tuesday next week is ah ma birthday sure will go whether or not im allowed to. Then… specom test coming soon also is it?? Don’t even remember.
Then what sux is that this Friday I have French make up lesson, which means I have to miss the fms party, which means I’ll be not only damn tired after French, but I’ll also be left out once again when they start talking abt the party, if they go… and shit, then next Friday there’s the bloody workshop thing which really sux. Pray hard im not in sarah’s group. Really. I don’t wanna be in hafiz group either. Just wanna be with my classmates. Hopefully get penny mabel yawen, either of them is fine.
Sigh e cold is killing me. Draining my energy damn fast. Internet still shat up. So yeah. That’s all I got strength to write about. Peace yo. Dorcas out.